It really sucks not agreeing with the other parent- especially when it is practically all the time! I have never agreed with his firm style of discipline, although when he was helping out at Track and field day at Riley's school on Friday the kids in his group were better behaved than the majority of the other kindergarteners (except for one kid who was a crybaby mess because his mom didn't stay very long, poor guy!) so much so that teachers were coming up to Mary and I telling us how amazing Zach was with the kids. At home though, his sternness translates to just mean a lot of the time and I get the same treatment when we are in disagreement on something so I know it is a character flaw of his and not me overreacting. Once he gets on someone about something he is relentless and doesn't stop until you are either crying or in tears. I'm pretty sure he needs counseling regarding this.
But that isn't even what I'm upset about today. He doesn't support me at all where the baby's sleeping habits are concerned. I know a lot of people do this alone and I'm not saying I don't appreciate having him around, it just might be easier not having someone tell you you're a terrible mom for sleep-training your baby. I have been laying him down and walking away for about a week now, and now I can do it for naps and when he wakes up to eat at night. I get a little more sleep, even with him teething by laying him down after he burps instead of walking around singing him back to dreamland- AND I NEED THAT SLEEP! How dare he question me as he sleeps soundly through these night feedings and gum pain?? He judged me for laying him down and letting him cry for 2 minutes, when he wasn't even crying hard-more or less tossing his head back and forth trying to decide which way he wanted his head to rest. This is something I didn't do with Declan, and he got up multiple times until he was over 18 months old (that's just when I stopped counting!). Not able to put himself back to sleep if he woke up at that age and drank some of his cup...I mean seriously! I am determined to do better with this child as far as the sleeping goes- and a little support would be nice.
Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband. I just wish he would be on my team for this difficult training. It is hard enough for me to do this.
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How frustrating. I agree that he should have no say if he is sleeping through it all anyway! I didn't do the whole CIO thing with Rowan b/c I thought it was so mean. Then one day GG came over to watch them right before bedtime and he hates her and was crying the whole time she was here. She put him up in his crib and he actually STOPPED crying..lol. So after that I thought I'd give it a try and it worked like a charm. I wish I hadn't waited so long!
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the whole discipline thing, I think it's very normal for people to act differently in front of other people's kids. For example...whenever I try to do a photoshoot with Violet and Rowan I am yelling at them and annoyed with them, but when it's someone elses wild and crazy 2 year old I am nice as a peach (and usually get more cooperation that way..lol.) He is probably just so comfortable with you and the boys that he forgets how to treat you and goes into meanie mode :(