Life is too short to spend it being miserable. I've figured this out, and I wish it would rub off on my husband. I love him, but he is the most ornery, grouchy, victimized person I know. I literally cringe when I hear his footsteps in the morning on a day like today where we didn't have anywhere to be first thing. Those footsteps are always accompanied by some type of bitter remark, as if he is persecuted. (This is what I get for allowing him to sleep in 3 extra hours that I didn't AFTER being the one that does night feedings.) He bounces back and forth between I should get a job, but yet when I am gone for a few hours (like doing a TS party), he is all but throwing the kids at me when I walk in the door!
School starts up again soon, I'm not going to have time for a job on top of taking care of three kids and schoolwork and my consulting.
Some people I know have husbands who they may not have around much longer...and no, of course I don't want that but what I do want is for him to realize that at any moment, I could be gone- and maybe then he will wish he hadn't spent our whole marriage complaining.
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Side notes: Diet going great, Archie's sleeping/schedule is much better!
Have a happy memorial day, everyone!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Fabulous
Only three more days of school for Riley before his graduation on Thursday from kindergarten! I can hardly believe this, to me he will always be my baby. My other baby who is getting too big is Declan, who graduates from the terrific threes preschool program tomorrow. Heck, my actual baby is getting too big too quickly- rolling over, eating cereal, cutting teeth. He'll be 3 months old already on Saturday!
Had a fabulous weekend, my parents' kept Archer from 4 pm Saturday til 1 pm Sunday...I missed him like crazy, but we were able to focus on the older two and it was fabulous. We went and saw a movie, and then after dinner stayed up late playing the video game Riley proudly bought with the gift card he won at the track and field day raffle. After they were in bed, since my MIL was home, we went for frozen custard and some snacks and drinks with my best friend. After all of this action packed grown up time, I was still in bed by 11 and slept in until 8! I really appreciated my night off from baby duty, even when Zach does help I am still home and hear Archer crying or fussing and awake and I wouldn't be able to just sleep through that. I feel all too strongly that since I am a SAHM, it is my responsibility to be up with him- even though Zach still isn't back to work yet from his injury.
Speaking of work, I go in to talk to a guy tomorrow about a job offer. He pretty much already gave me the job, but I don't want to go too much into it yet because there are a few important dates that I definitely can't work this summer and I have to go over all of the scheduling nonsense. Don't want to jinx it, a little me money would definitely be appreciated. School starts in a month, until then I am going to enjoy as much of summer as I can with my boys, definitely not looking forward to being at school Mon-Thursday evenings, which is my favorite playtime in the summer. (Not too hot, lightning bugs anyone?)
The dieting is still going great, except of course Saturday evening but I don't even feel guilty about that- I planned to splurge so it wasn't like I just caved into some pressure and had no willpower. I had babysitters for all my munchkins and I felt like eating something extra yummy. I can still feel a difference in my body already and it hasn't even been a weak. Drinking more water, taking extra steps in a day- all positive changes, and I've found that if I eat the right kinds of things, I'm practically eating all day long and still under 1200 calories!
I have been wanting to organize my coupons for awhile, so I'm going to get on that while Archer is down for his nap- have a great day everyone!
Had a fabulous weekend, my parents' kept Archer from 4 pm Saturday til 1 pm Sunday...I missed him like crazy, but we were able to focus on the older two and it was fabulous. We went and saw a movie, and then after dinner stayed up late playing the video game Riley proudly bought with the gift card he won at the track and field day raffle. After they were in bed, since my MIL was home, we went for frozen custard and some snacks and drinks with my best friend. After all of this action packed grown up time, I was still in bed by 11 and slept in until 8! I really appreciated my night off from baby duty, even when Zach does help I am still home and hear Archer crying or fussing and awake and I wouldn't be able to just sleep through that. I feel all too strongly that since I am a SAHM, it is my responsibility to be up with him- even though Zach still isn't back to work yet from his injury.
Speaking of work, I go in to talk to a guy tomorrow about a job offer. He pretty much already gave me the job, but I don't want to go too much into it yet because there are a few important dates that I definitely can't work this summer and I have to go over all of the scheduling nonsense. Don't want to jinx it, a little me money would definitely be appreciated. School starts in a month, until then I am going to enjoy as much of summer as I can with my boys, definitely not looking forward to being at school Mon-Thursday evenings, which is my favorite playtime in the summer. (Not too hot, lightning bugs anyone?)
The dieting is still going great, except of course Saturday evening but I don't even feel guilty about that- I planned to splurge so it wasn't like I just caved into some pressure and had no willpower. I had babysitters for all my munchkins and I felt like eating something extra yummy. I can still feel a difference in my body already and it hasn't even been a weak. Drinking more water, taking extra steps in a day- all positive changes, and I've found that if I eat the right kinds of things, I'm practically eating all day long and still under 1200 calories!
I have been wanting to organize my coupons for awhile, so I'm going to get on that while Archer is down for his nap- have a great day everyone!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
My Fitness Pal Day 1
So with Jenny Craig being way too expensive to continue for any rate of time, and my husband not being supportive at all (although I'm sure he'd like to see me more like the old me he fell in love with, he is constantly suggesting the fattiest foods for us to eat together...sigh.), I needed something to hold me accountable!
A few people suggested the myfitnesspal.com website and smartphone app. So I started using my fitness pal and I love the program! I'm not ready to start exercising until next week, I've experienced in the past that starting too much at once (diet and exercise) after doing nothing is really difficult.
Today I was under by 59 calories! Woot! However, I was then scolded for not eating enough.
A few people suggested the myfitnesspal.com website and smartphone app. So I started using my fitness pal and I love the program! I'm not ready to start exercising until next week, I've experienced in the past that starting too much at once (diet and exercise) after doing nothing is really difficult.
Today I was under by 59 calories! Woot! However, I was then scolded for not eating enough.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Get on board PLEASE- Sleep Training.
It really sucks not agreeing with the other parent- especially when it is practically all the time! I have never agreed with his firm style of discipline, although when he was helping out at Track and field day at Riley's school on Friday the kids in his group were better behaved than the majority of the other kindergarteners (except for one kid who was a crybaby mess because his mom didn't stay very long, poor guy!) so much so that teachers were coming up to Mary and I telling us how amazing Zach was with the kids. At home though, his sternness translates to just mean a lot of the time and I get the same treatment when we are in disagreement on something so I know it is a character flaw of his and not me overreacting. Once he gets on someone about something he is relentless and doesn't stop until you are either crying or in tears. I'm pretty sure he needs counseling regarding this.
But that isn't even what I'm upset about today. He doesn't support me at all where the baby's sleeping habits are concerned. I know a lot of people do this alone and I'm not saying I don't appreciate having him around, it just might be easier not having someone tell you you're a terrible mom for sleep-training your baby. I have been laying him down and walking away for about a week now, and now I can do it for naps and when he wakes up to eat at night. I get a little more sleep, even with him teething by laying him down after he burps instead of walking around singing him back to dreamland- AND I NEED THAT SLEEP! How dare he question me as he sleeps soundly through these night feedings and gum pain?? He judged me for laying him down and letting him cry for 2 minutes, when he wasn't even crying hard-more or less tossing his head back and forth trying to decide which way he wanted his head to rest. This is something I didn't do with Declan, and he got up multiple times until he was over 18 months old (that's just when I stopped counting!). Not able to put himself back to sleep if he woke up at that age and drank some of his cup...I mean seriously! I am determined to do better with this child as far as the sleeping goes- and a little support would be nice.
Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband. I just wish he would be on my team for this difficult training. It is hard enough for me to do this.
But that isn't even what I'm upset about today. He doesn't support me at all where the baby's sleeping habits are concerned. I know a lot of people do this alone and I'm not saying I don't appreciate having him around, it just might be easier not having someone tell you you're a terrible mom for sleep-training your baby. I have been laying him down and walking away for about a week now, and now I can do it for naps and when he wakes up to eat at night. I get a little more sleep, even with him teething by laying him down after he burps instead of walking around singing him back to dreamland- AND I NEED THAT SLEEP! How dare he question me as he sleeps soundly through these night feedings and gum pain?? He judged me for laying him down and letting him cry for 2 minutes, when he wasn't even crying hard-more or less tossing his head back and forth trying to decide which way he wanted his head to rest. This is something I didn't do with Declan, and he got up multiple times until he was over 18 months old (that's just when I stopped counting!). Not able to put himself back to sleep if he woke up at that age and drank some of his cup...I mean seriously! I am determined to do better with this child as far as the sleeping goes- and a little support would be nice.
Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband. I just wish he would be on my team for this difficult training. It is hard enough for me to do this.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Worrying
I haven't blogged about my hubby's hand in awhile, so it's necessary that I update you on his current prognosis. He is STILL on light duty (and his line of work doesn't ever have light duty available) and receiving the flat rate workers comp check every week. It's not much to live on, there's no opportunity to get overtime and it just sucks. That's one of the reasons I've decided to go to a technical school as opposed to picking up again with my college classes in the fall... I have way too much school left to do and especially working around my busy schedule as a mom of 3. I needed a program that is always the same time so I know when I need someone to be with the boys and exactly when I will be done with classes (March of 2013). With this particular degree, I will be able to go whichever direction I choose-be it the spa route, the personal business route, or the chiropractor/therapy/medical route. Which again, will give me flexibility to be what my main job will always be: a mom.
But back to the hand...
It is probably never going to be able to do the things he was able to do before he was injured. He can't grasp things in his right hand still... and the grip he has now is likely the best it will ever get again. It makes me wonder just how many people are affected by injuries like this working these warehouse jobs where they don't even make that much money and then are unable to get the only kind of work they have ever done... which of course makes it hard to get into another line of work, especially since my hubby was a college dropout just like me.
I know a lot of people who did finish school that aren't doing any better...but I sure wish I had stayed in school, if it meant I still would have met Zach and then of course had my boys. Since that is something I would never change, even if it means always living paycheck to paycheck. You can't put a price on love, after all.
Many of you know that my hubby had a little trouble with the law awhile back, which also limits his job opportunities. That's why I need to finish school, start my career and be the breadwinner. I'd like to get to the point where my paychecks are what runs the household and Zach's earnings would be savings and play money. This is all several years down the road, and for now we are really lucky to have supportive family who help us out when we need it. Especially my mother in law, who opened her doors to our whole family to live here while we regroup from the crippling changes in our financial status.
I hope I'm not being too cryptic. I am annoyed when people are mysterious on facebook or in blogs, but that is everyone's personal right as well. I don't keep my secrets for myself, but for someone else who I don't want to embarrass. So if you have read this, and want more details- just ask me. I'm not ashamed of anything and I'm definitely not perfect, which I will be the first to admit.
This has been slightly liberating.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Early to bed....
You know it has been a long day when you send your kids to bed at 6:30. They used to go to bed at 8:08, like Sporticus from the silly show Lazytown. Once Riley started kindergarten, it changed to 7:30, and then got moved up to 7 since nothing ever happens on time anyway. Today, I'm on duty alone and 6:30 was the time I decided. Hey, it beats losing my temper right? I was getting to that point, so I thought the wiser choice would be to just call it a day!
Tons more to say, but obviously I won't be saying any of it. I bet you can guess why...which was one of the things I really wanted to write about it. Love him-but Archer is driving me freaking insane.
Tons more to say, but obviously I won't be saying any of it. I bet you can guess why...which was one of the things I really wanted to write about it. Love him-but Archer is driving me freaking insane.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
May
I cannot believe it is May already....already the last month of kindergarten/preschool for my big boys, Archie is smiling and just about laughing... life is amazing. Zach and I have been getting along remarkably well, after a huge blowout a week or so ago. The baby is sleeping better and pretty much on a schedule with a few surprises here and there. That definitely helps with lessening the stress, since we now know we can squeeze food, a show/movie for grownups and not starring a cartoon, and snuggling in without him waking up interrupting.
Still haven't found a job to match my limited availability, school doesn't start for another almost 2 months... life is just on cruise control right now.
Today the older boys are with my parents while Zach golfs with his cousin, and it is pretty quiet right now while Archie is napping. I cleaned the boys room (except for vacuuming since I don't want to wake the little prince) and even went through their clothes to pull out things that don't fit Declan anymore....I'm really happy I have one more little man to wear some of these items. He has so many clothes!
Riley will need some more shorts and sandals...his whole body has grown, including his feet. I am excited about him wearing a uniform for first grade, he will look so adorable.
Enough of this string of random thoughts... time to try to sneak some laundry out of my bedroom to put away in Ry and Dec's room without waking the baby!
Still haven't found a job to match my limited availability, school doesn't start for another almost 2 months... life is just on cruise control right now.
Today the older boys are with my parents while Zach golfs with his cousin, and it is pretty quiet right now while Archie is napping. I cleaned the boys room (except for vacuuming since I don't want to wake the little prince) and even went through their clothes to pull out things that don't fit Declan anymore....I'm really happy I have one more little man to wear some of these items. He has so many clothes!
Riley will need some more shorts and sandals...his whole body has grown, including his feet. I am excited about him wearing a uniform for first grade, he will look so adorable.
Enough of this string of random thoughts... time to try to sneak some laundry out of my bedroom to put away in Ry and Dec's room without waking the baby!
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